14 In Autumn Mantra/ Christian Living/ Uncategorized

I am Not the Main Character

{This is a part of my Autumn Mantra series. I hope you’ll join me as I continue unpacking the words and phrases that are behind the way I am choosing to live this fall. Subscribe below to have updates delivered directly to your inbox!}

I’ve always been a bit of a theater geek. There is something magical about zipping up costumes, applying layers of make-up, and stepping onto a brightly lit stage. Over the years I’ve been involved the audition process dozens of times, both as an actor and a director, and amid the flurries of nerves and excitement there is a prevailing question going through everyone’s head.

Who will get to be the lead?

I’m shy. I’m introverted. I cry when I have to make phone calls, and I beg my husband to stay by my side during church meet and greets. And yet, every single time I auditioned for a show I wanted the lead role. I wanted the spotlight to rest on me. I wanted all eyes to watch me. I wanted to be the person driving the story forward. I wanted to be the main character.

This desire to be the most important is imbedded deeper than my hope to see my name first on the cast list. It goes beyond theater and seeps its way into everyday life. I see myself as the title character in my own reality show, the heroine of my own fairy tale, the protagonist of the literary masterpiece entitled The Story of My Life. And from the moment I wake up in the morning to the time I fall asleep at night I see every event, circumstance, and conversation through the lens of how it personally affects me.

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It’s hard not to, I know.  I am, after all, living in my body and seeing life through my eyes and taking in the world through my own mind and understanding. But I wonder what would happen if, just for a day, I lived like I wasn’t the lead. If I woke up in the morning with something other than my needs defining my actions. If I looked around a little more and saw the life happening outside of my own little world. If I listened to others, not to formulate my opinions and judgments but to truly understand what it would be like to be someone else. If I loved without a personal agenda. If I functioned less like the star of the show and more like a supporting character.

Because the truth is, I’m not the main character. You aren’t either. (Sorry to be blunt.) We are important, we have value, we are loved, we have a place to belong. But we aren’t the main character.

Who is then? I think you know the answer. It was whispered to you in the intimate place of your soul when you looked up on that perfectly still night to see the stars dotting the black sky. The milky way shimmered while you caught your breath. You’ve always known there is something greater at work here than your tiny, minuscule being passing through this crazy magnificent universe.

God is the main character. The infinite deity that was there before time began. That formed the planet, the universe, the galaxies we’ll never even know about. The one who will remain present and powerful and utterly glorious forever, long past our names are forgotten and our bones have rotted under dead grass.

So when I wake up in the morning it is no longer to make sure I get into the spotlight. It is not to fulfill my destiny. I am merely a supporting role in the grand story of my God’s kingdom. I have a job to do, I have a purpose and I have meaning and my story is a beautiful one. But it is just one among millions being woven into the metanarrative that is making up the Kingdom of Heaven.

It’s a relief really, this small character thing. As the burden of carrying an entire story forward is taken off my shoulders I feel light. I feel free. I can go MIA for a bit and no one really cares. Take a nap. Go to a dark movie theater for a few hours. Fail at something. It doesn’t really matter. There’s someone bigger standing in the spotlight.

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14 Comments

  • Reply
    juliatoneyblog
    September 15, 2016 at 6:13 am

    This is a great post! I definitely enjoyed reading this! Great job 🙂
    xJ

  • Reply
    Emily
    September 15, 2016 at 6:32 pm

    Well said, Greer… Thank you.

  • Reply
    Grace @ Cultural Life
    September 16, 2016 at 3:12 am

    “It was whispered to you in the intimate place of your soul when you looked up on that perfectly still night to see the stars dotting the black sky. The milky way shimmered while you caught your breath. You’ve always known there is something greater at work here than your tiny, minuscule being passing through this crazy magnificent universe.”

    That is such a beautiful paragraph. I had one of those moments last night. Driving home from the office with my mind still thinking about work after a long and busy day, I saw the full harvest moon rising clear in the sky, and it made me realize how sometimes we shouldn’t get too bogged down in the details of our own lives. Yes, work matters and the things we do every day are necessary and important, but sometimes it’s good to take a step back and just breathe. 🙂

    • Reply
      greeroharah
      September 19, 2016 at 9:56 am

      Thanks for sharing! It is so easy to get wrapped up in the small things! Here’s to stepping back and breathing this week!

  • Reply
    Duncan Campbell
    September 16, 2016 at 8:10 am

    I appreciate this so much, both the sentiments and the prose. Thank you for calling to something greater.

    • Reply
      greeroharah
      September 19, 2016 at 9:55 am

      Thank you for stopping by! I appreciate your encouragement!

  • Reply
    thecoffeebeanbrain
    September 16, 2016 at 9:37 am

    Thanks for this lovely reminder. 🙂

    • Reply
      greeroharah
      September 19, 2016 at 10:00 am

      You are welcome! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Reply
    heavenly pure coffee
    September 17, 2016 at 3:41 am

    nice

  • Reply
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