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On Growing Up, Arriving, and Enjoying the Present

A sweet thing happened last week.

My big brother, with his precious fiancé in tow, spent the weekend with my husband and I.

It has been one of the best things about living in a mountain town – people come to visit. It is a vacation for them and a treat for us. Ian and Suzie had been talking about coming up since we moved here last summer, and at long last they arrived late last Friday night. We spent the weekend hiking, shopping, exploring, eating, and talking. Lots of talking. Saturday evening found us stretched out on the couch, (let me just say again how much I love my new Ikea couch), four in a row, enjoying the stillness after a long day. As Suzie and Tanner faded and dropped out of the conversation my brother and I kept chatting, sharing ideas and remembering stories.

I have always been someone who looks ahead to the future – maybe more than I should – with eager anticipation. When I was little I wondered what it would be like when we were all grown up and married, viewing that season of life as something distant and surreal. I knew it would come eventually, it was just that eventually felt like a world away. But last weekend I realized – we’re here. This is what it’s like.IMG_5150

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It’s really nothing I would have ever expected. Our spouses are different than what I imagined when I was ten. Our vocations and homes and ideal ways to spend a weekend are dramatically different that what I had envisioned. At one point last weekend we even sent my older brother’s fiancé on the back of my husband’s dirt bike as he shuttled us back to the car after our long hike. Ian and I looked at each other in laughter; who would have ever guessed?IMG_5211{Family portrait circus 1996 – before the last two sisters made their entrance.}

IMG_5149{My husband escorting Ian’s fiancé down the 4-wheel road. This will be a story we remember.}

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Growing up happens like falling asleep happens – (according to the Fault in our Stars) “slowly and then all at once”. We get to our teens, we get taller, we get our driver’s license all at a snails pace. And then suddenly here we are. Twenty-five and thirty-years-old, stretched out on a sofa in a garage apartment in Buena Vista, Colorado with our spouses on either side. And we’re adults. All that wondering and imagining what life will be like when that elusive next season of life finally arrives is past and we have arrived.

And yet, even after growing up this much, I still catch myself wondering what it will be like at the next bend. When the younger siblings are all adults, when our littlest sister gets married, when one of us has babies, what we’ll be like when we reach middle age, the grandparents we’ll become…There’s always more life ahead that leaves us wondering, curious to see how things will unfold.

But no matter how much wondering, how many imaginings, we’ll never quite know what lies ahead. No amount of guessing would have prepared me for the life I’m living now. No daydreams would have led me to this place. It’s completely different and completely better than anything I could have concocted in my head. So maybe I’ll breathe deep and enjoy the present instead. The rest of growing up will get here soon enough.

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2 Comments

  • Reply
    Mom
    September 5, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    I, too, wondered what it would be like for you to grow up! I thank God daily for who you have become! Thanks for letting me into your world by way of these posts! I love you! Mom

  • Reply
    Suzie Q
    September 5, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    What a nice reflection of how we ponder our future.
    I am grateful to be so welcome to the family. The motorcycle picture made me chuckle!!
    This weekend was suck a highlight of our summer!
    Lots of LOVE

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